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Trump Orders Kevin McCarthy to Go to Prison in His Place

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what legal experts are calling a highly unorthodox arrangement, Donald J. Trump has commanded Representative Kevin McCarthy to go to prison in his place.

Although Trump has denied any and all wrongdoing, he told the House Minority Leader to be prepared to plead guilty if the current criminal investigation of the Trump Organization “turns nasty,” sources familiar with the agreement said.

McCarthy, who appeared shaken after agreeing to Trump’s demand, nevertheless put the best face on the situation when speaking to reporters.

“I can think of no greater honor than going to prison for this wonderful man,” McCarthy said.

Behind the scenes, however, congressional sources reported that McCarthy was trying to hammer out an agreement under which Representative Elise Stefanik would go to prison in his place.

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