PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “the best news I’ve had in months,” Donald J. Trump has excitedly accepted congressional Democrats’ offer to star in a new, nationally broadcast television show.
Trump boasted to reporters about his new TV opportunity, which was presented to him, on Thursday, by Representative Jamie Raskin.
“It’s going to be similar to ‘The Apprentice,’ because I’ll be sitting behind a table, but it will also be a little different,” Trump explained. “Instead of me asking a lot of questions, people will be asking me the questions. That should spice things up.”
The former President said that the “most amazing” aspect of his new show would be the number of networks broadcasting it.
“ ‘The Apprentice’ was just on NBC,” he said. “This is going to be on every network at the same time. Even those losers at CNN have committed to putting it on.”
Trump predicted that his incredible comeback vehicle would silence the doubters who have said that he was all washed up.
“According to Raskin, no other President has ever had a show like this,” he said. “I’ve still got it.”
