JOHNSTOWN, PENNSYLVANIA (The Borowitz Report)—Brushing apart gloomy predictions, Donald J. Trump stated that he would trounce Hillary Clinton within the November election.
“Lots of people don’t assume I’ll beat Hillary, however they need to put together to be unsuitable,” he stated. “I’m about to beat her by a landslide.”
Providing a rationale for his prediction, Trump stated, “As crooked as Hillary was in 2016, she is even crookeder now. Mike Pompeo goes to launch her e-mails, and so they’re a shame. We’re shifting fairly strongly and powerfully on this.”
Claiming that he beat Clinton of their 2016 debates, Trump famous, “It’s no surprise that Hillary doesn’t wish to debate me now. She is aware of I’d destroy her.”
Trump stated that he’s “very a lot trying ahead” to the election, as a result of it’ll give him an opportunity “to see Hillary crash and burn yet one more time.”
“When Election Evening rolls round, as positive as you’re sitting there, completely nobody will vote for Hillary Clinton,” he stated.
