As we all know too well, though Groundhog Day is traditionally joyful, Groundhog season can bring on the stress. Experts agree that pinning too much anticipation on a single day, especially one as important as February 2nd, can backfire emotionally. We interviewed one specialist, Dr. Laura Anderson, to get some tips on how to take a more balanced, healthier approach to Groundhog Day to avoid the disappointing seasonal rut you find yourself in every year, if you’re anything like the rest of us.
Don’t pin all your hopes on winter being short. Bad things happen in the spring, too!
According to folkloric tradition and your local news anchor, a Pennsylvania groundhog plus the arc of the sun are how you find out whether winter will be long. “I know a lot of people are out there rooting for Phil not to see that shadow!” Dr. Anderson says. “But it’s important to remember that really horrible things can happen in spring, or even summer. Just think back to spring and summer, 2020, and—well, you get my drift.”
Punxsutawney Phil is dead.
Dr. Anderson notes, “The first Groundhog Day celebrated in Punxsutawney was in 1887, so, you know, you do the math.”
Don’t expect to be happy in February, 2021.
“Sometimes just knowing how absolutely horrible we’re going to feel can help steel our minds and bodies against feeling unexpectedly horrible. I mean, the beginning of February sucks every year, so no surprises there.” Dr. Anderson adds that, although groundhogs are cute, they can also be real jerks. “According to Wikipedia, they are herbivores except for when they accidentally—get this—eat baby birds.”
Yes, we know there’s a movie called “Groundhog Day” (and we know you’ve seen it!).
“I’m not blaming Bill Murray entirely,” Dr. Anderson says, “but a lot of people watch that movie and feel like Groundhog Day is going to make them better human beings. Honestly, most people I know, on February 3rd they’re the same jackasses they were on February 2nd.”
If there’s a pandemic, maybe wear a mask?
“This isn’t related to Groundhog Day, per se, but maybe try wearing a mask if there’s a highly transmissible virus killing millions of people?” (This quote comes from a doctor we consulted who requested to remain off the record, because she’s been getting death threats for asking people not to endanger the lives of other people.)
Try to keep in mind that Groundhog Day, though an important day, is still just one day.
“Unless, of course, you find yourself in a quantum loop of existential repetition, which, though scientifically unlikely, is how many of my patients reported feeling in 2020,” Dr. Anderson observes.
Groundhog Day will be different this year, and that’s O.K.
“We’re all tied to the traditions and rituals that make Groundhog Day Groundhog Day for us,” Dr. Anderson says. “This year, try forging some new traditions, such as calling a groundhog a woodchuck, because they are actually the same thing.”
Don’t be like a groundhog!
“I actually didn’t know this until I started entombing my stay-at-home boredom within a catacomb of passive, hollow Internet research, but groundhogs’ excavational activities can actually threaten building foundations,” Dr. Anderson reveals. “It just goes to show how one creature who does not give a shit has the potential to cause a whole ripple effect of ruin if it decides to, say, not wear a mask or to dig a tunnel underneath a building.”
Do not buy those ear-self-cleaning tools with cameras advertised on social media.
“You have to know that’s a bad idea,” Dr. Anderson cautions. If a lack of Groundhog-season activities leaves you searching for other ways to spend your time, Dr. Anderson suggests journaling, learning a new language, and wearing a mask when you go out.
Be like a groundhog!
Try to focus on making the best of your environment. Groundhogs make their nests just a little more comfortable by designating an excrement chamber. “What this does,” says Dr. Anderson, “is it separates noxious biological waste that can infect the host as well as his fellow species members with bacteria that can lead to illness and death.” When asked to speculate as to whether honoring this protocol might pose an inconvenience or temporary discomfort to groundhogs, Dr. Anderson said, “Is it an inconvenience to not void your bowels where you eat and sleep? I mean, maybe. . . . But, remember, what they’re trying to do—instinctively—is set up a relatively simple barrier that does a pretty great job at preventing other groundhogs from having to ingest their toxic waste.”
