“Back to the Future”
Not wanting to travel to the past (for obvious reasons), Marty and Doc Brown travel to the future, and, finding it significantly better than the present, decide to stay.
“E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial”
As Cambodian refugees themselves, Elliott and his family are able to walk E.T. through the asylum process. After getting a green card, E.T. settles in California and opens a successful chain of laundromats called “Foam Home.”
“The Breakfast Club”
The five Shermer High School students attend all-day detention together for what will be the first of twelve all-day detentions they receive that year—a rate of disciplinary action far exceeding that of their white peers. Thirty-five years later, the “Shermer Five,” as they come to be known, are discussed at length in an episode of the podcast “Nice White Parents.”
“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”
In the words of Ferris Bueller’s—or, rather, Ferris Bulele’s—parents, they “weren’t born yesterday,” and “did not come all the way from Senegal so that their son could skip class and wind up addicted to drugs.” Ferris attends school that day, and every other day, until he graduates high school as valedictorian, goes to Yale, and becomes a dermatologist. His parents are still disappointed that he didn’t become a cardiologist.
“Footloose”
The same plot but with better dancing.
“The Shining”
Jack Torrance tells Stuart, the hotel manager, that he must be out of his goddam mind if he thinks that Jack is going to spend six months working in a haunted hotel. After turning down the job, he, Wendy, and Danny stay in Boulder and open their own little bed and breakfast, where the only “red rum” is the rum in their legendary rum-raisin bread.
“Risky Business”
After a suspicious neighbor calls the police on Joel Goodson, and his sex party gets raided, he is tried as an adult on felony charges for destruction of property, solicitation, and twenty-two counts of corrupting a minor. He does not get into Princeton.
“Hoosiers”
See “Coach Carter.”
“Sixteen Candles”
Rather than ridicule him, Sam and her friends bond with Long Duk Dong over their shared experience as immigrants. At the end of the film, Long throws Sam a surprise quinceañera and wows the guests with his shockingly suave Latin dance moves.
“The Karate Kid”
Daniel, a Black kid raised in Newark in the eighties, does not need to learn karate in order to kick the asses of every single member of the Cobra Kai dojo, including the sensei.
“Raiders of the Lost Ark”
Indiana Jones steals artifacts from American museums and returns them to their rightful countries of origin.
“Caddyshack”
People of color would not have agreed to make this film.
