Of us, Joe Biden is essentially the most radical agent of chaos this nation has seen since Mitt Romney.
In Joe Biden’s America, each night time there’s an enormous contest to see who can do essentially the most crimes, and the police can’t cease it as a result of they’re armed with pool noodles. Whoever mugs essentially the most outdated women will get to go to Yale, and common residents should pay the tutoring with their blood.
Yep, in Biden’s America, all of the lecturers are ISIS, and everybody has the identical job—whipping their arms round like human windmills to generate power for Priuses.
It is a very actual place, the place Beto O’Rourke confiscates your weapons and melts them down into out-of-tune guitars. Then he smashes the guitars in your driveway whereas scream-singing, “That is what we do / to freedom!” Unbelievably silly, and but assured to happen!
Begin constructing a hot-dog-shaped panic room, of us, as a result of Comrade Cory Booker is coming in your meats. He needs to interchange our treasured meats with the Portland mayor, Ted Wheeler. A Wheeler and cheese on rye? Recipe for catastrophe!
To not be alarmist, however, if Biden wins, it’s important to marry your canine. A.O.C. officiates, and the canine wears a bit tux or robe made the place else however in China. Certain, it’s cute, but it surely’s additionally a complete affront to Christian values, particularly if you happen to and your canine are the identical intercourse. Occurred to a man I do know!
Already, Satanic Joe has minimize the phrases “underneath God” from the Pledge of Allegiance. When will the Pretend Information begin asking the robust questions, like, the place is the Lord in relation to our nation? Behind us? Inappropriate. Under us? Outrageous. To the suitable or left of us, doing a bit facet hug? Appears awfully informal!
Pay attention, if you happen to slice up the audio, Biden says he’s going to tear down our monuments and put up statues of his favourite pronouns. Mount Rushmore is simply going to be T, H, E, and Y. For those who’re a “he” or a “she,” you go straight to cancel jail, particularly if you happen to’ve ever purchased a Sports activities Illustrated swimsuit challenge or a kind of sexy-firemen calendars.
Ole Sloppy Joe is a Computer virus. You invite him into the White Home, his head opens up prefer it’s “Lovecraft Nation” and out crawls Loopy Bernie Sanders, thumping “Das Kapital.” He takes your 401(ok), offers it to a refugee, then whacks you within the tummy with one in all his logs. Precise scenario!
Underneath the iron fist of Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr., sports activities leagues are shut down as a result of they’re too woke to perform. Soccer is America’s pastime, and all of the gamers flip the flag the double fowl and rip big farts in the course of the nationwide anthem.
That anthem? Let’s simply say it rhymes with “Moist Ass Hussy.”
Our border patrol? Doing the Macarena with MS-13.
Our foreign money? Lined in footage of George Soros, “Our One True Founding Father,” in keeping with Psycho Joe.
Our motion pictures? Director’s cuts.
These situations? All extraordinarily believable if you happen to ask me, the individual making an attempt to terrorize you into voting for Trump.
Oh, additionally, your taxes will go up if you happen to make greater than 4 hundred thousand {dollars}. Nobody is secure!
