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Acrostic Poems About Going Gray in My Thirties

White hairs multiplying
On temples, and even on top of my head.
What should I do about them?

Again, just taking a look in the mirror—
Gee, that’s more than last time.
Excuse me, I’m only thirty-eight.

Greg, my stylist, hasn’t said anything.
Really wonder if I should initiate conversation
About dyeing my hair, or if we can just keep going like normal.
Yesterday, I saw another long, white one in a place I didn’t expect (center of chest).

Maybe it’s not so bad—
Actually, is it?
No harm in looking again to check.
Everything is O.K., I think!

Healthy strands
Are merely losing pigment, right?
In certain lighting, they look brown as ever,
Reminding me of my twenties.

Also, when it’s wet,
Going to note that my hair is
Especially dark and vibrant.

Cool skunk stripe, like Stacy London’s, when dry?
Oh, well, no—that’s not happening with my hair.
Literally more like spiderwebs
On top of the brown, spreading across my scalp.
Rocking chair is right here—should I settle in?

Co-worker who hasn’t seen me in person,
Off Zoom, in fifteen months,
Lightly says, as I, a ghost, emerge from my building,
“Oh, you have gray hair.” What can I say? Maybe:
“Right! Like a pumpkin in November, I am in decline.”

Date from Hinge—
Yes, he noticed it, too—
Even that guy! (He said so, while we listened to a jazz band in the park.)

Amused or confused he was, by the
Grandmother on his picnic blanket? Should I change my profile picture?
Eventually men will need to know that my body is decaying.

Or I could go exclusively on water-centric dates—
Lots of fun to be had together while scuba diving.
Doing that would allow me to showcase my hair in its wettest, darkest form.

Greg, I say, visiting the salon. How are you?
Regular cut for me, please, your usual magic.
Ah, indeed, O.K. You’ve informed me that
You, too, see the grays now.

Did you know that you can get a tinted gloss?
Yeah, it lasts six weeks and it’s gentler than dye, Greg says.
Every six weeks, for the rest of my life, I can spend a hundred and fifty dollars.

What would my favorite women’s studies professor say?
Her opinion might be that
It’s O.K. to dye and O.K. to leave as is.
Time passes, and you can be a good feminist either way—up to you.
Eh, I am at an impasse!

Hey, I can follow the grombre account on Instagram—
Many articles about it on Glamour’s Web site,
Many images of youngish, happy, graying women.
May I be just like them!

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