1. Check in on family.
2. Pay your utility bill.
3. Call your estranged cousin, Cynthia, and finally confront her about everything she’s done.
4. Take up knitting!
5. Stare down the woman in front of you who remembered to bring an umbrella.
6. Blast “Happy,” by Pharrell, from your phone speakers and choreograph a flash mob!
7. Scream at everyone in line for not participating in aforementioned flash mob.
8. Try to build a lawn chair out of loose sticks and autumn leaves.
9. Think about your cousin, Cynthia, and all that went wrong.
10. Accept free water from a volunteer.
11. Accept the fact that the volunteer was most likely the love of your life and, ultimately, the one that got away.
12. Disassociate.
13. Relive that one time in the seventh grade when you tried to flirt by cracking a glow stick in front of your crush’s eyes, thereby blinding him for the rest of his birthday party.
14. Contemplate Shia LaBeouf and all the boundaries he’s broken.
15. Decide who to vote for!
16. Fake a pleasant phone call with Cynthia to assure your linemates that everything turned out fine!
17. Propose to the woman in front of you, in the hope that this gives you access to her umbrella.
18. Let forty-five people cut in front of you so that you can get in the background of Eyewitness News and away from the woman who just bludgeoned you with an umbrella.
19. Finally Google “Who is Jerry Springer?”
20. Begin to apply for a job at NPR, only to realize that you need eight years of radio experience.
21. Mourn the eight years that you’ve wasted on non-radio experience.
22. Write a song about hope, faith, and taking chances.
23. Glare at the successful flash mob dancing all the way at the front of the line.
24. Come to terms with the fact that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and that this section of the line just isn’t your chosen community.
25. Vote 🙂
