WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hinting darkly that “persons are saying there’s one thing happening,” Donald J. Trump claimed that the previous Vice-President Joe Biden is utilizing “performance-enhancing books.”
Pointing to Biden’s robust performances within the Vice-Presidential debates of 2008 and 2012, Trump alleged, “It’s clear that he was underneath the affect of books.”
“Each time he bought requested a query, he pulled information out of skinny air,” Trump stated. “You’ll be able to’t do this until you’re pumped up on books.”
Trump warned that, until he’s caught, Biden will attempt to use performance-enhancing books earlier than the Presidential debates, which begin later this month, and urged that each candidates be examined for books earlier than the competition.
“I’ve no downside with being examined,” Trump declared. “I’m 100 per cent book-free.”
