MEMPHIS (The Borowitz Report)—QAnon, which has hemorrhaged supporters since Inauguration Day, has announced that it is merging with the conspiracy theory that claims Elvis Presley is still alive.
The announcement, made at a press conference in a parking lot across the street from Graceland, Presley’s longtime home, was seen as a bid to prevent QAnon from vanishing altogether.
The overture to the Elvis conspiracy theorists came after QAnon proposed a similar merger with the National Rifle Association, which declined, citing difficulties of its own.
At the press conference, Harland Dorrinson, a QAnon spokesman, was upbeat about the new joint venture, which will be known as QElvis.
“We are proud to be joining forces with the Elvis conspiracy theory, which has been going strong ever since that fateful day in 1977 when Elvis didn’t die,” Dorrinson said.
Tracy Klugian, representing the Elvis theorists, denied that there had been friction between the two groups as they hammered out the merger, and dispelled rumors that the Elvis faction had attempted to downplay the QAnon faction’s obsession with cannibals.
“Absolutely untrue,” Klugian said. “Every member of QElvis is committed to one simple truth: that Elvis is still alive, and that his death was faked by George Soros and Hillary Clinton.”
