In 2003, a group of hunters discovered a young woman in Siberia who had apparently been raised by wolves. Scientists were unable to explain the child’s origins, but an examination indicated that she was approximately eighteen years old and in surprisingly good health. Researchers named her “Lauren” and worked to assimilate her into human society. With effort, Lauren caught up to her peers, both socially and intellectually. By the age of thirty-five, she had married an actuary named Gabe and given birth to a daughter. Lauren never interacted with the wolves that raised her, except when they came over for Thanksgiving.
Lauren was considering whether or not to take a Klonopin when her husband shuffled in, straining under the weight of a dead elk. “You didn’t have to get that,” she said.
“It’s the least I can do,” Gabe said, in a chipper Boy Scout voice. “It’s so cool of them to come all the way out here!”
He dumped the carcass on the coffee table, shattering several bowls of nuts and olives. Lauren sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Gabe asked.
“I just don’t understand why we always have to accommodate their needs.”
Gabe shot her a look. “Because they’re your parents. And our guests.”
Lauren popped the Klonopin and washed it down with Pinot Grigio.
“Look, I get it,” Gabe said. “Parents are hard. Mine drive me crazy, too. I mean, my dad, with those puns?”
“I think my parents are worse,” Lauren said. “I mean, growing up with them was a full-on nightmare.”
“Maybe it’s worse in your memory?”
“It was documented by scientists,” she said, frustration creeping into her voice. “There have been books about it, and an award-winning documentary.”
Gabe rubbed her shoulders in a way that managed to somehow make her feel even more tense. “I know your folks aren’t perfect,” he said. “But they came all the way from Siberia. They’ve been running and swimming for months, and they’ll be gone in half an hour. The least we can do is be civil, right?”
“I guess,” she said.
“Great!” he said, sealing the agreement with a condescending forehead kiss. “Besides, it might be fun. I mean, your dad’s stories are pretty epic.”
Lauren smiled tightly as Gabe set out the napkins and the tarps. She’d told him all about her screwed-up childhood. The barking, the growling, the total lack of structure and support. Her parents had never been abusive, but it had still been a dysfunctional home. Her therapist had confirmed it.
“They did not see you,” she’d said. “And you were not heard.”
Still, though Gabe was aware of her parents’ transgressions, he’d never actually witnessed any. They had mellowed considerably with age. Her father had stopped howling at the moon following his stroke, and, after a few false starts, her mother had finally quit drinking. Lauren knew that she should be grateful for their progress, but somehow it galled her. By rehabilitating themselves, they had robbed her of an audience for her suffering. It was one more deprivation, the latest in a chain stretching all the way back to her childhood.
Two piercing howls sounded outside. “I think that might be them,” Gabe said. “Do you want to let them in?”
“You can do it,” she said.
Lauren refilled her wineglass while Gabe opened the window so that her parents could jump into the living room.
“Sorry we’re late!” her mother said. “You know your daddy—he didn’t want to ask for directions!”
“Good thing I had my better half!” he said.
Lauren cringed as her parents nuzzled. When she was a kid, her father had cheated on her mother constantly, with her friends and neighbors and, once, with a log that had a hole in it. And now everyone was supposed to pretend like their marriage was perfect?
“So, how’s everything?” her father asked. “How’s work?”
“It’s fine,” Lauren said.
There was a two-second pause, and Gabe rushed to fill it. “Work’s better than fine,” he said, smacking Lauren’s arm with an annoying amount of force. “Honey, tell them your news!”
“It’s nothing,” she said.
“It’s not nothing,” Gabe protested. He turned to her parents and gestured at her like a game-show host: “You are looking at Verizon’s newest regional marketing-communications manager!”
Lauren’s parents tackled her and licked her face. “We’re so proud of you!”
“So what does this mean?” her father asked. “You get to hunt bigger animals?”
“I’m not a hunter,” she said. “I work for Verizon. In telecommunications.”
“Ah, gotcha,” he said, lowering his eyes. “I’m sorry I got it wrong.”
“You’re not wrong,” Gabe told him, reassuringly. “She got a raise, which is sort of like the human equivalent of hunting bigger animals. Right, honey?”
“I mean, I guess,” Lauren said.
“I’m not surprised,” her mother said. “We always used to say, ‘There goes Lauren, our little genius!’ ”
“Huh,” Lauren said.
Gabe shot her a warning look.
“What?” her mother asked.
“I just don’t remember you ever saying that,” she said. “My memory, in fact, is that you never named me.”
Her parents hung their heads.
“Would anybody like to eat this dead elk’s ass?” Gabe asked.
“I’m not hungry,” her father said.
“O.K, I’m sorry,” Lauren said, rolling her eyes. “I should have remembered the family rule: never say anything about anything uncomfortable, ever.”
Lauren’s father put his tail between his legs. “Maybe coming here was a mistake,” he murmured. “Maybe we should just leap out the window.”
Lauren shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time you left.”
“Sweetheart,” he said. “We went over this in therapy. The reason I left the family had nothing to do with you. It was a period in my life when I was confused. I thought that log with a hole in it was your mother. I literally thought the moss on it was her fur. It was a crazy time for me. I had rabies.”
“I’m supposed to feel sorry for you now?” Lauren asked. Despite the wine and Klonopin, her hands were shaking.
“We’re not asking for sympathy,” her mother said. “And, if there’s something you need to say to us, we’re here to listen. Right, darling?”
“Yes,” her father said. “We are prepared to honor your emotions.”
Lauren clenched her fists; she hated it when they used therapy jargon.
“Let’s start with my leaving,” her father said. “Why did it upset you so much?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Lauren said, sarcastically. “Maybe because it happened on my fucking birthday?” Her parents eyed each other subtly. “Let me guess,” Lauren said. “You don’t remember.”
“Honestly, no,” her father said.
“So you’re saying that I made it up?”
“I’m not saying that!” he said, raising a paw. “It totally could have happened the way you remember it. I’m just saying that my memory is different.”
“O.K., fine,” she said. “What’s your memory of the day you left?”
“O.K., well—and, again, this could be inaccurate. We’re talking about a long time ago, and my brain is the size of a pine cone, and I have no understanding of time or numbers. But my memory of that day is: I was walking in the woods. And then the big, yellow god that lives in the sky shined hot. And then there was a smell, like, ‘O.K. time to go.’ So I ran into the wet place that is cold. And, again, that might not be a perfectly accurate description of what happened. But that’s what I remember about that day.”
“That’s what I remember, too,” said her mother.
“There’s no point doing this,” Lauren said. “It just leads to frustration.”
“We’re frustrated, too!” her father said. He sighed. “I’m sorry for growling. I was flooded.”
“That’s all right,” Lauren muttered.
“Thank you,” he said. “My point is, I know we weren’t great parents. We were young, and we were wolves, and we didn’t always know what we were doing. But every time we see you all we do is apologize, over and over, and it’s not easy. In order to do it, we both had to learn to talk English, and it hurts our throats and sounds insane. Just hearing my voice right now, coming out of my snout—it’s incredibly unnatural and disturbing. So if you want us to keep saying sorry in these weird, choking animal voices, we will. Because we are sorry. But, at a certain point, the ball is in your court.”
