SALT LAKE CITY (The Borowitz Report)—Mike Pence was reportedly “hopping mad” after Senator Kamala Harris introduced that she intends to put on a hazmat swimsuit to Wednesday’s Vice-Presidential debate.
Harris argued that, though she could be twelve toes away from Pence and guarded by a plexiglass protect, she was donning he hazmat swimsuit “out of an abundance of warning.”
“The White Home is refusing to do contact tracing,” she stated. “I don’t know the place Mike Pence has been.”
Pence howled in protest at Harris’s transfer, calling the hazmat swimsuit “political theatre at its most outrageous.”
“I pose no hazard to anybody,” he stated. “I’m a accountable grownup, not a baby, and Mom agrees with me.”
