WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In her most explosive claim to date, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene accused former President Barack Obama of converting to Judaism in order to obtain lasers.
According to Greene, Obama’s obsession with lasers was a result of working in the entertainment business, “where he is constantly surrounded by laser-owning Jews.”
“Obama would go to Netflix meetings and be seething with envy of all these Jewish TV executives who had lasers,” she said. “That’s why he converted to Judaism and, according to something I read on the Internet, got bar-mitzvahed.”
Although Greene did not indicate what Obama might use his lasers for, she warned that he could fire them off at any time, except Friday after sundown.
