WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a limited-time offer to current and former White House staffers, Mike Lindell, better known as the MyPillow Guy, is joining forces with Donald J. Trump to promote a new product called MyPardon.
For $69.98, the price of a MyPillow, Trump associates will receive a preëmptive pardon rendering them immune from prosecution for all federal crimes.
Unlike MyPillow, which comes with a ten-year warranty, MyPardon is guaranteed for life, Lindell said.
“People wonder how someone who worked for Donald Trump can sleep at night,” Lindell said. “With MyPardon, you’ll sleep like a baby.”
