WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Responding to hypothesis that Democrats would possibly search to broaden the dimensions of the Supreme Courtroom, Brett Kavanaugh warned that doing so would require an elevated variety of kegs.
Kavanaugh expressed concern that rising the variety of Supreme Courtroom Justices with out buying further kegs would possibly lead to a “replay of the regrettable Seaside Week incident.”
“One time throughout Seaside Week, I used to be throwing this rad occasion with P.J. and Squee,” he stated. “Out of nowhere, Tobin reveals up and brings 4 of his mates.”
“Nicely, that might have been positive if Tobin’s mates drank a traditional quantity, however these dudes preferred to occasion,” he stated. “It was a traditional Tobin transfer.”
Kavanaugh stated that increasing the dimensions of the Courtroom with out a commensurate enhance in kegs would set “a really harmful precedent.”
“If the brand new Justices are something like Tobin’s buds, the scenario can be heinous,” he stated.
