[bright music] [film clacking]
[distant police siren]
[wooden tapping]
[metallic click]
What?
What?
You knocked on my door?
I did.
Listen, you’ve been here for a month now, where’s the sofa?
What sofa?
When you moved in here, you said you were getting a sofa.
Where is it?
It’s just a sofa, if you need one so badly,
get it yourself.
I’m broke, I took you in because you said you had a sofa.
People say a lot of things
to get into an apartment, Abir,
I could have told you, for example,
that I had a full-time job
and then stayed home to do lines all day.
But I am, in fact,
an active and contributing member of society, and I’m quiet.
So you got very, very, very lucky
to have me as your roommate.
How does that even make sense?
All I’m saying is that it could have been worse.
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I’m going to go watch porn with my headphones on
because I’m considerate like that.
[groans] You can’t just…
[Waterslides by PIXX]
♪ Facing ways down waterslides ♪
♪ I try to cling on but I ride ♪
♪ Sometimes it’s hard to tell ♪
♪ If I chose to slip or if I fell ♪
♪ It seems to just go on and on ♪
♪ Please let off ♪
♪ Been here too long ♪
♪ Is it me who made this place ♪
♪ I still don’t know a single face ♪
[ metal squeaking]
[wooden thumping]
Hello.
Hey Vin? Abir?
Yes, I’m here for the sofa.
You have a beautiful name.
Thank you.
Is it Arab?
Yeah.
I knew it. [chuckles]
I’m Israeli.
Cool.
My name is Vin, my parents wanted something, you know,
international but I sound like Borat.
You have a good accent, eh?
Yeah, I used to watch a lot of American television, so.
what do you watch, Friends?
No. Simpsons?
No, actually I’m just really here for the sofa,
and I’m kind of in a hurry,
so if you could just… Okay, okay, one moment.
Thank you.
Here you go, mazel tov.
Whoa, no, what is this?
Somebody took the sofa an hour ago.
Second one in line gets the trampoline.
No, no, no, no, no, I came here for the sofa.
Sorry, the sofa is taken.
It was free.
People love free stuff, you know.
I came all way here for this?
I feel like you’re upset.
I wrote in the ad, second one in line gets the trampoline.
You should have read the fine print.
It’s Craigslist.
They’re both on the [indistinct] listing,
everything is super cheap.
I’m giving you a free trampoline, excellent condition.
Abir, we should go eat houmus sometimes.
[feet stomping] It’s hummus.
[wooden clattering]
[Waterslides by PIXX]
♪ It seems to just go on and on ♪
♪ Just let me off, been here too long ♪
♪ Is it me who made this place ♪
♪ I still don’t know a single face ♪
[muffled club music]
[Abir] So, you’re a dog walker?
[coughs] A dog hiker, big difference.
But you walk dogs?
I hike with dogs.
I, it’s for people who want their dogs
to see more than just the nearest park,
it’s a full experience.
Like yesterday we went to the Catskills.
Next week, maybe we’ll go to Maine. [chuckles]
Who knows.
Wow, that’s really unique.
Yeah, it’s, I love my job.
What did you say you do?
I’m currently in between…
Aah, you’re rebranding, huh.
Oh, rebranding, I like that.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, you should get professional head shots taken.
You look way better than in your pictures you know?
This is your side.
I’m a photographer actually, so,
just floating that out there, you know?
Wow, that’s really cool.
Yeah. Hmm.
So are we gonna go back to your place or?
[liquid sloshes]
We can, [chuckles] if that’s what you want.
So fast, you haven’t even finished your drink yet?
That’s fine, I’m kind of in a hurry anyway, so.
All right, well, I’m not usually this kind of boy.
[growls] Drinks are on me.
Excuse me. Oh no, no, no,
I meant for the sofa.
What sofa?
You’re sofa, that’s going to be mine soon.
Oh, wasn’t that a joke?
A joke, why would I joke about needing a sofa?
I thought you were being original, you know.
Just like, not here for hookups,
hit me up if you have a spare sofa.
I mean, I usually say couch, who says sofa,
but I liked it, you know?
It got my attention.
But we chatted, you told me you had a sofa.
Do words mean anything to anyone anymore?
I was flirting.
I don’t have a spare sofa.
Who has a spare?
My uncle has a spare sofa.
Can you call him?
Oh, he lives in Florida.
I can’t believe this.
I can’t believe
you were actually looking for a sofa on Tinder.
Oh yeah, well at least I was being honest.
You’re definitely not 5′ 10.
So we’re not going back to my place?
[metallic clatter]
[wooden thumping]
Rami, I know you’re in there, I can see your shoes.
Still leaving them outside,
you know someone can just grab them.
Have you ever smelled my shoes?
[Abir] Why would I smell your shoes?
Nevermind, what are you doing here?
Help me take this beauty outside
and we don’t have to talk about it, okay?
[Rami] What beauty?
[hand claps]
[scoffs] You want to take my sofa?
Technically it’s my sofa too, so.
Abir, it’s my sofa, I bought it.
Yeah, but when you moved in you made me throw away my sofa
so it’s only fair that I take it.
Couldn’t you bring this up when we broke up?
I thought I’d find something else by now.
With that logic, you should take my coffee table too.
No, it’s ugly.
What are you doing?
[grunts] Move. I’m not giving you the sofa.
You’re not giving it to me,
I’m taking it ’cause it’s mine.
[grunts] No!
Rami stop!
No way, you’re being… Don’t say it.
Don’t call me crazy.
[sighs] [hand claps]
[Abir sighs]
[Rami sighs]
I thought you liked the coffee table?
I never liked it.
No? No.
You said the color was… Never.
So, you want to get back together or what?
What, no.
[wooden thumping]
Hey. Hi mom.
[speaking in foreign language]
I swear, I run faster.
At least I get to see you.
[speaking in foreign language]
Okay. [feet thumping]
[water whooshing]
[speaking in foreign language]
Mom.
[speaking in foreign language]
[Mom sighs]
[speaking in foreign language]
[wooden creaking] [footsteps clicking]
[lips smacking]
[quiet wooden thumps]
[Abir sighs]
[Mom groans]
[Mom sighs]
[plastic clicking]
[paper rustling]
[speaking in foreign language]
[plastic rustling]
Mom, [speaking in foreign language]
[plastic click] [Abir sighs]
[Waterslides by PIXX]
♪ Facing ways down waterslides ♪
♪ I try to cling on but I ride ♪
♪ Sometimes it’s hard to tell ♪
♪ If I chose to slip or if I fell ♪
♪ It seems to just go on and on ♪
♪ Please let me off, been here too long ♪
♪ Is it me who made this place ♪
♪ I still don’t know a single face ♪
[woman moaning in background]
Karen, headphones.
[Karen] Sorry.
♪ Don’t follow me into my dreams ♪
♪ You don’t belong here ♪
♪ But if you try to sneak on in you might be stuck too ♪
♪ My heart, in two it might be crumbling now ♪
♪ But the last one I want to go with it is you ♪
♪ Now I’m walking ’round and ’round ♪
♪ Its like a maze I can’t get out ♪
♪ Everyone is in a rush ♪
♪ to have some fun but times are tough ♪
♪ There must be something here for me ♪
♪ I’m terrified by what I see ♪
♪ When you catch me walking ’round ♪
♪ Please wake me up or else I’ll drown ♪
