WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Dr. Anthony Fauci is “a little weirded out” by people suddenly listening to him, the virologist has confirmed.
After months of being virtually ignored, Fauci said that the phenomenon of people paying attention when he says something is “kind of freaky.”
“I guess I got used to being in meetings where I’d start talking and people would take that as an opportunity to look at their phones,” he said. “This whole thing of me saying things and other people listening to me has kind of thrown me for a loop.”
Fauci added that the novel experience of people acknowledging his existence has created “a ton of pressure.”
“It’s bizarre, frankly, to all of a sudden be saying things and have people ask follow-up questions, like they were listening to what I just said,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. But when people are actually listening to what you say it can be kind of stressful. You really have to bring your A game and can’t just phone it in. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.”