WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Consolidating her position as America’s foremost Trump loyalist, Representative Elise Stefanik stunned political insiders on Wednesday by replacing Ivanka Trump as one of the former President’s daughters.
According to those familiar with the shakeup, Donald Trump made the move after Stefanik spent months convincing him that she was substantially more loyal than his now former daughter.
In an official statement from Mar-a-Lago, Trump wished Ivanka well, adding, “She had a good run.”
Stefanik, who is running to replace Representative Liz Cheney as chair of the House Republican Conference, put to rest any doubt that she could handle that job while fulfilling her responsibilities as Trump’s daughter.
“They’re basically the same job,” she said. “I just have to say ‘Yes, Daddy.’ ”
