TALLAHASSEE (The Borowitz Report)—Governor Ron DeSantis announced that Florida will lift its coronavirus restrictions in order to focus all its attention on voting restrictions.
“While the danger posed by the virus has largely dissipated, voting remains as dangerous as ever,” DeSantis said.
The Governor indicated that he was “taking a hard look” at indoor voting, which he said was responsible for “many bad outcomes,” and noted that outdoor voting, involving people placing ballots in mailboxes, could also be curbed.
“Until the danger has passed, we may have to ban voting by groups of five or more people,” he said, adding that it would “depend on who the people were.”
DeSantis said that the measures to restrict voting should be passed into law as soon as possible. He warned, “We must stop the spread of democracy.”
