It’s lastly fall, and which means apple-picking season! So why not pay a go to to Unhealthy Apples Farm? We’re open 24/7/365, relying on who you might be.
OUR STORY
Unhealthy Apples Farm is a three-hundred-acre family-operated farm that’s eager on custom. We’re located in part of New York the place you’re, like, “Wow, it is a lot of white folks,” and, “Was {that a} Accomplice flag?” Our foremost harvest is apples, in fact. Nothing says New York greater than an apple, the official state fruit.
Every year, 1000’s of households need—and even want—our apples. Our working finances is six billion {dollars} as a result of, to give you one of the best American apples you’ve ever had, it must be.
OUR APPLES
We provide an exquisite number of apple (crimson, mealy) each season. And, simply to deal with the massive, bad-apple-loving elephant within the room—sure, our apples are very unhealthy. Therefore the identify.
In the end, the selection is yours. Are you going to let all these unhealthy apples spoil the bunch of enjoyable you’re going to have choosing them? It’s autumn! That is the best possible time to walk—carefully monitored—by our orchards and decide whichever apples we are saying you’ll be able to.
Again to the apples—earlier than you ask, sure, they’ve all the time been unhealthy, and, no, it’s not possible that we’ll replant the entire crop. Have you learnt how a lot of your cash we’d lose? (You do, as a result of we stated it earlier than: billions, comma, six.)
It’s simpler simply to deal with them and perceive that it’s a part of the entire Unhealthy Apples Farm expertise! Moreover, who else are you going to show to whenever you’re, like, “Oh no, assist! This pie attacked me!” Had been a few of our apples already in that pie? Yeah, in all probability. Everybody is aware of that’s what a few of our apples do. They (our apples) are gonna look you proper within the eye and say, “Properly, why had been you so near the pie? You shouldn’t have seemed suspicious like that.”
OUR BAKERY
Talking of pies, we bake them proper right here on the premises with our very personal unhealthy apples, to get rid of cross-contamination. We additionally supply bad-apple-cider donuts, bad-apple strudel, sweet unhealthy apples, cold and hot bad-apple cider, and—shock!—popcorn.
OUR OTHER ATTRACTIONS
- Experience-along hayrides! The children love ’em!
- Scarecrows—in riot gear! The children love ’em!
- Militarized tractors! The children shouldn’t contact ’em!
- Petting zoo of bomb-sniffing animals! Solely O.Okay. for “good” children!
- Cement corn maze! Protected even for “unhealthy” children!
- Picnic clearing the place your loved ones can benefit from the stunning fall foliage—from behind bulletproof glass!
- Free parking—for fifteen minutes!
OUR LOCATIONS
Go to our different Unhealthy Apples Farm outposts, conveniently located in every single place from Los Angeles to Louisville to St. Louis to Denver to Chicago to Milwaukee to Dallas to Houston to Atlanta to Minneapolis to Seattle to Jacksonville to Miami to Kenosha—you’ll be able to’t miss us! And we are able to’t wait to see (a few of) you at Unhealthy Apples Farm.
