ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest blow to Governor Brian Kemp, the city of Atlanta announced that it would be leaving the state of Georgia to protest its discriminatory new voting law.
In a press conference on Monday, Atlanta revealed that it will be relocating its sports teams, hospitality industry, and entire 136.8 square miles of land to another state yet to be determined.
Kemp attempted to put a brave face on the situation, even though the departure of the state capital means that he no longer has an office in the state that he governs.
“If Atlanta thinks I can’t get the business of Georgia done without it, then Atlanta is gravely mistaken,” Kemp, speaking from his room at the Quality Inn in Jesup, said.
News of Atlanta’s decision touched off a bidding frenzy among states eager to host it, but the city indicated that it was only interested in moving to a state that makes it easy for its citizens to vote.
“We’re taking offers from Oregon and Washington State very seriously,” Atlanta said. “We let the call from Texas go straight to voice mail.”
