Take this quiz to find out if you always put other people’s needs before your own. (But only take it if you really want to!)
Your boss constantly texts and e-mails you on nights and weekends. What do you do?
- Ask your boss to only contact you during work hours.
- Search for jobs on LinkedIn that don’t require communicating with another human being ever.
- Too late—already hit Send!
Your neighbor, who is not wearing a face mask, insists on getting in the elevator with you. What do you do?
- Let him on and express your firm disapproval by staring at the floor.
- Let him on and ask how his day is going. Sometimes exposing yourself to a lethal virus is worth it to avoid conflict.
- Decide never to leave your apartment again.
True or false: You would help your friend hide a dead body.
- True.
- False.
- Wait, what?
Your friend calls you in the middle of the night and begs you to come over, but can’t explain why over the phone. How do you respond?
- Tell your friend that you’ll call her back in the morning.
- Come over with a bottle of wine and the name of a good lawyer.
- Deny that you know this so-called “friend,” and maintain this position when the authorities ask, “Where were you on the night of the 20th?”
How do you get out of a social obligation?
- Relocate to a different city, adopt a new identity, and hope that your friend takes the hint.
- Secretly record your friend’s confession to the murder and anonymously drop the tape off at the police station.
- Lie and say that you have “a thing.”
How do you spend your ideal day?
- Taking the time for self-care.
- Helping your family set up their Wi-Fi.
- Googling “how to hide a body,” buying a shovel, and driving to a secluded, wooded area to bury the man your friend poisoned with cyanide—along with all of her Agatha Christie novels, in case they make her look suspicious.
- Honestly, all of these sound like fun options!
Essay: Try writing the word “No.” (Take all the time you need to complete this portion.)
You’re out on a walk when, out of nowhere, there’s a thunderstorm. What do you do?
- Wait under an awning until the storm passes.
- Apologize to the storm clouds and ask if they are mad at you.
- You won’t have to worry about the weather when you’re in prison.
The ghost of the man your friend poisoned appears in your dreams and asks you to avenge his death. What do you do?
- Say no—it’s important to establish firm boundaries with people in the afterlife.
- Agree to help, but only if he puts in a good word for you with God.
- Take a stronger sleeping pill.
Your same friend asks you to help her move apartments and you—
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’d move a corpse, but I draw the line at furniture.
RESULTS: The fact that you even took this quiz suggests that you might be a people pleaser, or an accessory to a crime. Please hide your results when the authorities come knocking on your door.
